1> Both are expatriates (Consider Bhaiyas and Gaijins [Japanese for foreigner] equivalent)
2> Both are notorious (consider shooting and eating to be equivalent)
3> Both migrate (Consider Indian railways and International Flights equivalent)
4> Both have similar occupations (consider Tea stall and cooliegiri equivalent)
5> All the above
6> none of the above
Confused??? (i assume bihari bhai's and Mallu checha's are not reading this else its too easy for them !!!). Well allow me to blabber about for 5 mins and then i will give out the stuff on my own :P
So, lemme start off the story. Once upon a time in Bihar there was.... guess what!!! a "Garib Bihari" (as if there is something called as "amir bihari") who used to cycle his way to school and dream of owing a car someday ( of course that long one and not those hatchbacks ).... day dreaming of long road trips to Goa (complete with hot blondes) and drifting on snow clad Himalayas (yes with scantily clad cheerleaders who got job less after IPL). Then he moved to college and came to know of latest way of making quick and easy money (yes the sunrise IT industry). That "Garib Bihari" is none other than your's truly.
Cut to final year (details of my drinking spoils are omitted here as I is about to get married and so I cannot risk any complications u see !!! ) and he finds out about another new and even more easier way of fooling companies into giving you huge salaries i.e. "MBA" (its 2009 and I find that kinda amusing to know that i was actually right about all these MBA grads fooling companies about their productivity figures.... and before all u MBA's reading this start planning my assassination lemme say something comforting to u "Fuck off". Even we are fooling clients this is not your copyrighted way of making money!!!!). So coming back to MBA stuff in final year..... I tried like hell kept going to all these coaching classes like headless chicken.... shouting off mathematical tables and pasting square's and cube's in shit holes (yes my college toilet was worse... don't laugh its Bihar!!!!) Come one... even the government is bankrupt there.. Everyone’s’ poor so no tax collection its easy-peezy to understand)...... but alas........ Nothing happened. Not that it had happened for the first time in my life but well for the record one more time i ended up on the side of losers like me. But this time it was different..... I was neither unhappy nor sad... actually i was happy and said "Fuck u MBA" and like those horny English ladies i cried out in ecstasy "ooh my god ...... IT i am arriving... aah" (mark my words.. English ladies don’t say I am coming!!! they arrive :O and so next time u take that hot blonde u don’t know the name of up the mountains of pleasure.. u know how to distinguish between English and American shit !!!)
Jump to Infy Training.... (Rest of final year is again confidential) and i was in heaven... have u seen a place in India where u get a laundry service next to your swimming pool !!! (Just strip.. drop off everything in laundry and by the time u enjoy that dip in pool and steam bath ur laundry is done !!!). Beggar from Bihar was getting the first taste of what being rich was all about ;). But life... as someone famously said "Life is unfair" soon the training was over and i was paying rent for my stay and getting bumped around in Infy bus every morning!!! But by now this Bihari was some what rich and so.. Upgraded to a new motorbike... and life was never the same again. Next few months were again spent day dreaming about zooming past trucks on highway with a hot pillion trusting up her assets at my back with every jerk of Brake pedals :D. This went on for couple of months and wait slowly turned to desperation... and finally to despair. There comes a point in life when u stoically reconcile yourself to your fate and stop trying.
Then this fool from infy.. my friend actually (That explains the friendship) suggested that u better get that car of your's.... as chicks these days don’t prefer bikers as there are just too many of them !!!! So, i decided to start saving for my car..... and since that was not possible with my meagre salary (yes the princely salary had now been reduced to minimum wages thanks to inflation and Infy effect of cities) another round of day dreaming started with me dreaming about stay in Onsite locations and getting that dream car of mine with a saving effort of just 3-4 months !!! The interesting thing to note here is that the rate of day dreaming is about inversely proportional to the cash in your pocket (I have had some of my best dreams when having road side “wada pav” with Rs50 in my pocket with three more days to go for salary!!!!). So i am coming down to the generalisations now.....
[If u wanna make it big.. dream big.. and to dream big ... be a begger first]
Fast forward 1 year (please account for this time in GCAL.. the Infosys code for time pass activities which include drinking... sleeping.... watching movies... couple of more failed attempts at CAT etc etc). There i was standing smartly waiting for my first international flight to Tokyo!!! Mind you i was still a beggar (relax i am coming to mallu aspect soon!!!) all the stuff packed in my suitcase (and even the suitcase) had been bought with borrowed money and i was having superb day dreams!!!! Finally i landed up in Tokyo.. Started saving and bingo i was ready to buy that dream car of mine. I was itching to go back home (Yes i have the "mallu" by now and he is my greatest pal in Tokyo) but this Infy projects.... they never end.. Remember i told u about fooling the clients into giving us money!!!! and i was forced to stay on for another 6 months.... and in the mean time my savings grew to unbelievable amounts for a beggar like me (yes on of the favourite pastimes being to log into ICICI banking and check the balance over and over and over again).
Man is a unique animal.. he is never satisfied (yes.. he is basically an asshole hell bent on squeezing out all happiness from his life). And one of the ways to achieve this is to start dreaming bigger and bigger as soon as one dream is satisfied!!!! So, this beggar started to dream of flats and Bungalows and Farm houses (complete with 4X4 soft top Tata safari and hot village maids!!!!). And for all this he needed more and more money (Dreams don't come cheap u see) and very soon even his onsite savings started to seem small!!!
All this while ... this mallu .... kept enjoying his life like hell... complete with trips to .... umm well I can't disclose that u see because however unbelievable as it may sound he will also get married some day (no plz... see i am not claiming anything here.. but mallu's do get married.... and yes they can manage these things apart from their drinking activities !!!!). I was busy trying to be a beggar... saving more and more money and living out a frugal life in the hope of a better life tomorrow (seemed ominously similar to the ranting of fundamentalists from fight wing religious groups who promise a better tomorrow in heaven in return for making your and others life hell on earth). Bottom-line being..... the "Garib Bihari" remained precisely that "Garib"(this change was in control but was termed as "no defect") and "Bihari" (this being the design flaw nothing could be done)
So.. with all the blabbering behind me we can come down the question of "genesis" here.... What is the similarity between Bihari--India and mallu--World? Answer is: What a Bihari is to India.. mallus are to the world. But like all generalisations... one mallu was exception (there maybe more.. but i am yet to find another) for he did things and remained happy.... and i did things and still remained a beggar !!!!
Identify the correlation between... Bihari -- India and Mallu -- World. Your options are:
1> Both are expatriates (Consider Bhaiyas and gaijins[japanese for foreigner] equivalent)
2> Both are notorius (consider shooting and eating to be equivalent)
3>Both migrate (Consider Indian railways and International Flights equivalent)
4>Both have similar occupations (consider Tea stall and cooliegiri equivalent)
5> All the above
6> none of the above
Answer: All the above one beggar and the other rich !!!!
So, what was the point of writing out this blog.... Well i have no idea (i know u want to curse me and beat the shit out of me for making u read all this crap.... but i warned you before !!!!)
